Second Half Analysis

It’s been one year since I kicked off the Second Half, the soccer-based health and wellness program I created to help unleash my best self. Much like the game itself, the experience has had ups and downs, including moments of glory and times when nothing seemed to go my way.   

I don't have any plans of letting up, but to mark the one-year anniversary, I wanted to take stock of the biggest lessons from the past year, starting with the one that’s become a mantra for the project: the game is decided in the second half. Whatever misfires or errant runs I made in the past, they’re behind me now. The second half is what counts. I’ve found this idea very liberating, and empowering too. As one of my yoga instructors put it during a recent class, quoting an ancient Chinese proverb, “By letting go, it all gets done.” Namaste to that. 

Here are the other big takeaways from the Second Half so far: 

Community is key. I’ve met more people in the last year than in the entire decade prior. I started to count them up but gave up after a few hundred. The actual number might be in the thousands. Many are passing acquaintances, like the gang at the neighborhood gym I joined or fellow attendees from the coach’s convention I caught back in January. But a lot of meaningful friendships (and mentorships) have formed as well, no easy feat in middle age, at least for me.

I’ve also reconnected with a bunch of people from my past, which has given the last year a kind of gravitational pull for my life as a whole. Most of all, though, the regular interactions with passionate, positive, like-minded people has made me a happier person, and that mental health is worth its weight in grain bowls.

MOUNTAIN OF YOUTH Back in June, I headed to Round Top, New York, deep in the Catskills, to take part in an over-40 tournament with the Jersey crew I play pickup with on Sunday mornings. Our team, Shilelagh FC, crashed out in the quarterfinals to a superior side from Poland, but it was still a highlight of the year. Most of the guys have been doing this tourney for more than a decade, and a couple of them even used to watch their fathers play in it back in the 1970s. As evident in this year's team photo, the next generation is waiting in the wings.  

Role modeling is great motivation. Even without the rigors of the Second Half, this has been one of the most challenging year of my life, as both of my kids were diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes—Alexander in August and Emmy in February. Nutrition and exercise are crucial to the treatment of this chronic disease, so the fact that I’ve been able to model positive behavior has made a tough situation more manageable.

Not that I’ve lived a perfect program, but even the lapses into old bad habits have been a chance for me to model resilience. And in a sort of virtuous cycle, I’ve been inspired by my kids’ toughness and resolve, whether it’s Emmy going out for the travel soccer team or Alexander forging his own high-jinks passion for the game, on the playground at school or through this summer's World Cup action. 

ROUND TWO Though Emmy had lost some weight in recent months, her T1D diagnosis in February came as a shock to everyone. We knew the diabetes drill from Alex, so we were only in the hospital for one night. I was reading The Away Game, a riveting new soccer book about the search throughout Africa for the game's next superstar. Inspiring stuff, with plenty of heartache for the millions of kids who fall short of their dream, all of which helped keep things in perspective.   

Variation gives balance. Soccer is the nucleus of the Second Half, but as the year unfolded, I brought more activities into the mix. There’s the weekly “broga” class I joined and the Crossfit membership I signed up for. I also experimented with different healing treatments, including acupuncture, massage therapy, and restorative yoga. 

The variation has meant a more holistic workout for my body and it’s also given me mental equilibrium (there is such a thing as too much footie!). With the soccer too, I’ve tried to expand my world, joining more organized leagues, for example, which has exposed me to a higher level of play and forced me to push myself as a player, both technically and tactically. 

SWEAT SHOP The CrossFit gym that opened a couple blocks from my house has become a core part of my fitness regimen. Its close proximity helps with one of the main challenges of staying in shape: finding time to work out. I usually hit the 6am class, which means I'm back home before the kids are up. Two months in, I'm already feeling stronger—though I'm still waiting for my first official muscle up!    

There’s freedom in vulnerability. The original idea for the Second Half came from the belief that I never reached my full potential as a younger player. How good could I be if I applied myself completely, even allowing for declining age? Fair question, but also one that left me exposed to some potentially harsh truths. Sure enough, though the intensive training and conditioning has made me a better baller, I’m finding that I'm still a pretty average Joe out there, especially in high-intensity league play filled with smarter, more skillful players. That could be a bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is it’s allowed me to ease up on myself and find pleasure in the game, not another source of self-criticism.

I still plan to work hard and find ways to get better as a player, but I’m not out to prove anything. I don't think I would have found that freedom if I didn’t put myself out there and embrace the vulnerability. "By letting go, it all gets done." There’s another part to that quote, which goes, “The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”

After a lifetime of trying and trying, I’m learning how to let go and just play the game. Heck, I might even end up winning. The Second Half is far from over, plus I'm hoping for extra time.  

FULL CIRCLE Earlier this summer, I got the chance to play the role of returning alumni at a high school training camp in my home town of Westfield, New Jersey. Thirty years earlier, I was a freshman on that same field, sitting where those kids sat, fighting for a spot on the team. I'm not fighting anymore, but I'm still out there, trying to find the game and grow as a player. Soccer gods willing, I always will be.